Picking The Right Bridesmaids

Your maid of honor and your bridesmaids are an important part of your wedding. Deciding who to choose and how many attendants to have should not be taken lightly. At the same time, it doesn't have to be a stressful situation. Here are some tips for making the decision easier.

Think It Over

While you may feel like planning your bridal party the day after your engagement, it's best to wait. You are riding high on emotions, so sitting back until things calm down will ensure you make clear, informed decisions.

Traditionally, the rule of thumb is one bridesmaid and groomsman per 50 guests. However, in today's modern world, rules are changing. Now, you no longer have to have an even number of attendants nor do all the bride's attendants have to be female and all the groom's attendants male. If you have a good male friend, feel free to make him one of your honor attendants or even the man of honor.

When deciding how many bridesmaids to have, consider the type of wedding you'll be having. Generally, the more attendants, the more formal the wedding. Consider also how the various personalities of your attendants will mesh together. If two of your friends are angry with each other, for example, you may not want to have them both in the wedding party.

Remember the Expense

Remember, being an attendant is an honor, but it also comes with responsibilities and financial expenses. Before making your decision, decide how much responsibility you'll be assigning your bridesmaids. Will you simply expect them to be there for moral support or will you be asking them to assist you with the wedding planning? If it's the latter, you'll be better served to pick people who live near you.

Think also about your friends' and family members' financial situations before asking them to join the wedding party. Consider they will need to pay for their clothing, accessories, hair styling, makeup, the bridal shower, the bachelorette party, gifts and travel expenses. If someone is having a tough time financially, explain how you would like them to be a member of the wedding party, but if they cannot afford to do so, that you will find another way for them to be part of your wedding.


You may feel obligated to ask certain people to be members of your wedding party. Some, such as your sister or future sister-in-law, you'll want to include if for no other reason than to maintain family peace. But don't feel obligated to ask family members you are not close to or your coworkers.

Here are some other people whom you are not obligated to ask to be a bridesmaid:

  • Friends you haven't spoke to in quite some time.
  • Women whom you were in their bridal party.
  • Women you socialize with at clubs or "girls night out".
  • Your best friend from high school or college who is no longer your best friend.

Once you have made your decision, it's final. It is in extremely bad taste to invite someone to be part of your wedding and then take back the invitation. So consider wisely and follow both your heart and you head.

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