Questions to Ask Yourself before Saying "I Do"

So you think you've found the perfect man but you feel like: "OMG, this is huge and it's going to be permanent... what if I'm wrong?"

I can't blame you. With divorce statistics getting worse and worse, some people's view of the wedding knot is increasingly becoming closer to that of a hangman's noose.

The web is filled with articles with the same title as above - with lists as varied as the gamut of emotions from a to z, having one conspicuous common denominator: questions about money.

It cannot be denied that financial disputes are commonly seen as the main culprit for divorce, but in reality, it is only one of the symptoms of a marriage gone wrong even before it began. A good doctor will focus on treating the root cause of the problem rather than the symptoms; but as always, an ounce of prevention is much better than a pound of cure.

In this article, I dare to be different. Instead of bombarding your already anxious mind with questions that are supposed to settle your fears but in reality will only aggravate them, I will bring out the best answer from within you, because in reality, it's not about questions - rather, it's all about answers.

Actually, all other questions fall under two issues that you really need to deal with yourself - and your partner, for that matter - before saying "I do".

1. Do I understand what love is all about?

What is love? This is an age-old question that until now, people all over the world have not stopped asking. Type "what is love" at Adwords and the site will yield a monthly global search of more or less 185 million for that particular subject. It is the most frequently asked question yet very few seemed to have found the answer. But blessed are those who have found it, for although they say goodbye to being single on their wedding day, their wedding day will remain single forever.

Let's face it. Present society's concept of love has become so base. Truly, man has given love a bad name and many hearts, families, marriages and lives are broken simply because of this unfortunate misconception. "I love ice cream"; "I love Dolce and Gabbana!"; "I love to see a movie"; "I love you", what's the difference? They're basically the same - the aim is self satisfaction.

I'm sorry to tell you this: if your idea of love is as blinded as this prevailing concept, I tell you, you're in for a rough ride.

Imagine a couple who have nothing else in mind but to fulfill their individual desires, to receive, to seek to be comforted, to be loved, to be understood, to be cherished, to be treasured, to be respected and so on. That spells total disaster.

On the other hand, imagine a couple who have nothing else in mind but to fulfill their partner's desires, to give, to comfort, to love, to understand, to cherish, to give much value to the other, to give respect and so on and what do you get? Nothing short of paradise!

If you and your partner can understand this, then I tell you: you hold the greatest power that transcends beyond the heavens and the earth. You not only have a wonderful marriage ahead of you, but if, as one entity, you translate this love to others, you can impact society in more ways than imaginable.

2. Am I ready to love?

Two thousand years ago, one Man demonstrated the greatest expression of love: sacrifice. He did not seek for His own satisfaction - rather, He radically set an example of how to love, and that is, by laying down one's life. This may sound far-fetched, but this is actually the greatest secret of all time for all marriages that worked. Romeo and Juliet did it, Jack did it for Rose. All the characters of the greatest love stories ever told, from Anthony and Cleopatra through Odysseus and Penelope, down to Tristan and Isolde and modern times' Landon and Jamie of "A Walk to Remember" are interconnected with only one sparkling thread: Great love demands great sacrifices.

Now before saying I do, take a long look inside your heart before you even look at your partner. Do you really understand what love is all about and are you ready to love? If so, all other questions will be muffled. Even if your partner doesn't have the same level of depth that you do, he will reach there in no time if you are unwavering in your demonstration of this new-found understanding of love.

By the way, I have great news for you. Love begets love, and you'll reap what you sow. Always.

Add a Comment